Emotional pain, Continued

From Nikola Tesla: “Emotional pain is often not dealt with for three reasons: it’s scary; it’s overwhelming; it’s unknown. Especially for men, who have not only received little or no training in emotions, they have actually been quite ferociously persuaded out of feelings altogether. Men are not allowed to be either weak or vulnerable, moved by emotional pain or even sensitive to their finer feelings. Granted, there are some genetic mandates for this: if you are hunting, you need to be quiet on the trail and not given to emotional displays, and when you are fighting for your life, all pain must be put aside. However, although getting emotional or feeling about a scientific experiment does seem counter-productive at first, it has resulted in a soulless use of technology.

“But the main reason why men are taught out of emotions to the point that they cannot deal with emotional pain is so that they can wage war. If you don’t feel your own pain you cannot feel another’s; if you don’t care for the other person as women might, then you can be victorious in battle because it is hard to kill someone you care for! Yes, it can be argued that it is emotions that drive men to “crimes of passion,” murdering your wife’s lover and the like, yet in truth, it is not the emotions themselves but the pressure under which the painful emotions have been kept: the bottled-up, tamped down and disdained emotional hurts that reach a place of such pressure that they must explode and then, indeed, it seems as though your emotions have overwhelmed and ruined you. However, if you had worked with the emotional pain beforehand, if you had recognized your emotions for what they were and were wise in dealing with them, the explosion would very likely never have happened in the first place, much less lead to murder and worse.

“In short: it is not the emotions that are scary but your vulnerability to them! You can be swept up, swept away and swept under even good and healing emotions, much less the emotions of hurt, loss, betrayal, grief and so on. Yet, feeling your emotions, even the painful ones, allows your response to become supple and responsive.”

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