From Nikola Tesla: “The true difficulty of using blame to deal with heavy, painful, embarrassing or demanding emotions is that blame glosses over those emotions through the illusion of solving them and, in addition, “solving” them by removing your power to deal with them. Every time you tell someone, “You make me feel…” you have not only blamed them for your feelings you have put them in charge of those feelings: their actions or words, their withdrawal or silences, become your weather-vane of how you feel about yourself. One of the results of this is that you always need constant vigilance to be aware of them instead of your own true ownership and control of your emotions and reactions, In short: you can never truly deal with your emotions or learn from them.
“Were you to live without blame, though, you would have to take stock of how and what you feel almost continually. This gets to be rather impossible for those of you that are told to deny your emotions continually and unilaterally: when you are told, “Don’t be a crybaby!” or, “Don’t be a sissy!” or even, “Quit the dramatics!” your emotional self is being disenfranchised, marginalized and even obliterated.
“Oddly enough, the fear that allowing yourself to be emotional does not lead to your emotions being out of control: if emotions are seen, felt, understood, honored or otherwise dealt with at the moment they arise, they do not become painful: they do not sink into your heart or your gut and fester, unexpressed, to become difficult burdens that weigh your down at least and dangerously toxic at worst. It is only the emotions that build up pressure at not being addressed or even expressed that explode.
The two most difficult drivers in the Earth Plane are, as many of you understand, fear and pain and of the two, fear costs you the most but pain wears you down the most.