From Nikola Tesla: “Chronic mental pain, as I have said, may be clearer to see by others than by yourself, particularly when this pain has become so habitual as to be mistaken with your true identity. If you are always snubbed at parties, is is because you are grieving an ancient sense of bewilderment at not being accepted joyfully when you were a child, or because you were clumsy once and never forgave yourself for it? Are you often overlooked, shunted aside when others get the promotions, accolades or rewards, do you always feel in the periphery of things?
“The mental pain of going over and over the same tracks, trying the same things again and again without any better results or waking up every day to the “same old, same old” feeling certainly causes tremendous emotional grief as well as frustration, but the feelings either seem to be traps to catch the thoughts within or the thoughts seem to be the traps that catch the feelings inside of them. And if you are convinced that you cannot deal with the mental pain through emotional means and you cannot solve your emotions with your mind, you live forever trapped in more and more despondency, useless actions and foolish results.
“However: there is always a third part of you, beyond your mind and emotions. You can work with your body: often deep massage work can bring up the original feelings that have caused the repetitive, ineffective and occasionally desperate mental loops that evolved in order to cope with the original emotion. Sometimes, pursuing a feeling down into its deepest expressions, its deepest meaning, shines your inner light upon how your young or traumatized mind had to deal with what had happened to you.
“The trick is to become acquainted with that third part of your being: the Observer, the perceptive part of you that is neither your mind nor your emotions yet is aware of your own awareness: the soul-touched depths of your heart.”
From Nikola Tesla: “For some, chronic mental pain becomes invisible, inaudible and imperceptible to the person holding it, yet others will “hear” and feel the dissonance of this pain in your voice, your actions and in all of your forms of communication. Some will withdraw from you; some, feeling threatened by your pain, will be belligerent for reasons they do not understand themselves. Sometimes people will actually seem to perceive your chronic mental pain’s patterns as instructions. Rather like wearing a sign on your back, “Don’t kick me!” that will tend to make people at least consider kicking you, old, deeply ingrained patterns of chronic mental pain such as ruminating on the betrayal of disenfranchisement; mentally emphasizing and re-iterating being overlooked and undervalued; being the butt of all the cruel jokes; snide comments and demeaning treatment: all of these mental loops, so close to your sense of self, become perceptible to others because of your unconscious re-emphasis upon those thoughts.
“If certain types of things keep happening to you: you never get served in proper order by merchants; you always get fooled or lied to by complete strangers or your own family members; if you suddenly find that a friend is acting in the same unkind way that others have even when the friend knows how much you have been hurt by others: all of these things are actually a result of unconscious chronic mental pain that is broadcasting simply because of the re-emphasize and over-accentuate.
“The most direct way to change this is to become aware of the mental loops you are engaged upon and that you are ignoring because you have become habituated. You might write a list: “whenever I try to do what I want to do, this always happens,” or, “The one thing I can never get is…” In short, you are looking for your mental axioms of pain: how you will always be hurt, humiliated, overlooked, blamed and so on. Once you have understood the impact of those deep mental tracks, you can counter them with new thoughts.”
From Nikola Tesla: “As suggested by the metaphor of mental pain being much like a limb ‘falling asleep ‘ when the nerve is compressed, the mind can actually carry a fair amount of pain of which it is imperfectly aware and thus chronic mental pain does not often manifest itself as pain in any particular way. Both under-stimulation and a certain degree of over-stimulation are normalized by the brain fairly readily in its drive to adapt to conditions; it is only when the effects of these factors interfere with too many other processes that the pain is noticed.
“This consideration is important: This adaptability allows you to continue dealing with immediate challenges yet at the same time every situation in which you put mental pain aside adds to the load the mind carries until the mind may collapse under the combined weight of little things, daily strains, and additional insults, provides the weight and leverage needed for mental, emotional or psychic breaks. This adaptability can also inure you gradually to untenable situations: much as the frog being boiled slowly does not react to its danger because it is focused upon adapting to the situation rather then to the situation. In short: you can become depressed; rigid or reactionary; prejudiced, biased or even bigoted; blase; sarcastic; contemptuous and supercilious so very gradually that you feel those actually painful thoughts are normal, when indeed they divorce you further and further from your native and natural capacity for unconditional love, happiness and joy.
“From this viewpoint, hidden mental pain warps your original mind into distressing shapes that provide triggers for you to lash out at others or yourself: as the mind follows the emotions so that when you are feeling uncertain, anxious, angry or despondent your already painful mind will look for reasons why you feel as you do, so also the emotions follow the thoughts: if the mind re-tracks the thoughts, “I’m bad,” or “You’re bad,” or “Life is bad,” then the feelings will follow, and how those feelings are expressed will be in accord with the shapes of your mental pain.”